Confessions of a lousy blogger

the blogger

21st of December, I guess this is the moment where all of us had been waiting since we learned about the Mayans.  Set that end-of-the-world things aside, this day is always significant to me – for it’s the day I was born. Hurray happy birthday! But it’s not just that, some of the best and worst happenings in my life also happened in this date. Heartbreak, reconciliation, Christmas party, street party escapade and some of the YOLO moments. And again, to add up in my awesome birthday experience list, and since this is my 100th post, I will share to you my life as a blogger.

It started just a plan of making something for myself, something different that will go beyond the conventional trend of what I could do as normal person. There had been certain opportunities by that time, great chances that could somehow change the usual lifestyle I’m living. I’ve been asked once to try writing a book, seen chances to become a radio dj, having doors to work in a local newspaper or trying to pursue a masteral degree. All of these had passed through me, but I’ve been coward that time, afraid that I might fail the responsibilities. I’m still like a child that put restrictions because of fear. I’m also equipped with minimal amount of confidence, believing myself would always be the last option. It might be stupid to let them go and yes I might be stupid, but my current job also provided me enough reason why I shouldn’t.

So they faded, but one moment when I attended a seminar, a sole blogger provided me thoughts and stories about blogging which instantly showered me inspiration. There is something in what he shared, not just the idea of letting yourself out, but the thought that there is something more to life, that writing is not magical unless shared. That moment, I decided to have a blog – something as a challenge and a pleasure to live. And that is where I was born.

clavius

For the past months, I’ve shared in this blogging world quite a collection of thoughts, some crappy and sensible stories, and bits of crazy poetries. I’ve had fun working them which lead me to sharing it to the world. I’ve also enjoyed reading all the comments and the blogs I followed and had the pleasure of replying into them. But in truth, this blogging had also raised issues on me lately, moments where I struggled whether continuing it or not. There had been certain instances, many of them in fact where I had nothing in myself to write and eventhough I had something in mind, time is just as hostile as you can get. But I continued anyway, not because I want to, but because I have to. The reality that you have to blog because it’s your obligation and not in the noble reason that you have to because that what makes you happy. Although in other way it could be good, the idea of doing it beyond your reason and pleasure makes it somehow a rotten meat. Then you had to go again and catch that fresh flame, that raw desire to have a blog because you love it. And it just needs a matter of soul filing, traveling inside yourself and interrogating your own to learn who you really are, and that’s where the spirit of me lifted. Good thing, I had saved myself from such a battle.

I guess, this is where everything will end now.

But I will deeply grab this chance to all of you who had been following me and reading my lousy pieces. I thanked you all for your generosity and time spent reading my blog. I know there had been great blogs better than mine but you still took time and consider my writing – your likes and comments mean a lot to me. I appreciate each one of you, if you were just there in front of me physically existing, I will wrap a gift and give it to you personally with my wildest smile one by one. So the only thing I could offer to you are my sincere words of gratitude and my prayers. This blogging already meant a lot to me, and I love you all.

Thanks again and have a great blogging to all!

For the pleasure of blogging,

Janoel

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8 responses to “Confessions of a lousy blogger

  1. Happy celebration of the day of your birth. You are a unique individual whose essence adds to the celebration of all our birthdays. Don’t ever forget it.

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