Letter to Mr. Green


So last week, just as to the recommendation of my friends and also you all bloggers, I started to read a John Green book, which honestly, I promised myself to finish the pending books before I dig myself into such commitment. But I did it anyway.

I read this The Fault in Our Stars and damn, I just had the roller coaster ride of my life. The morning after, not really morning because it’s already afternoon, I decided to send Mr. Green a sort of message for what he did to me.

I don’t know if it’s proper to post it here, but since that my reaction to the book, or sort of a review was included it here, I’m still gonna post it anyway.

Then here it is.


Mr. Green,

I was just going to email you personally, but I guess not knowing your email address just kept me stuck in here.

In truth, I was somehow hesitant to send my sentiments here for it will gonna die anyway in these flooding messages, like how Hazel thought of the sentimental death posts for Gus. But yeah, I’ll not just let this thoughts die inside of me, that would be like suicide. So I’ll just give you the honor of murdering my thoughts now. If this will just going to drown in this sea of sentiments without you reading it, then, it’s ok, I’m cool with it. But if you’ll give this a time to just maybe do a sort of a younger version of “reading” and older version of “glancing” (I don’t know what to call it) type of noticing, it will be cooler and much appreciated. No, that would gonna be like a free-travel-to-Amsterdam feeling. Well, I’m having a Gus moment here.

Okay. Here it is. Well, maybe like how Gus was introduced to the book An Imperial Affliction, a friend of mine who was suffering from a bony medical condition (the universe is also getting her attention, but it’s not cancer. And we don’t have any romantic attachments) introduced me the TFIOS. I was in doubt at first, I still got these 3 virgin books pending. But yeah, being so popular and being recommended by some bloggers, writers and some of my friends last year (especially the Looking for Alaska that they’ll figuratively choke me just to read it), I kinda gave it a try.

So it was like 5 days ago I started reading, planning at first to read at most 4 chapters a day. But damn, on the third day, I was so hooked up. Three days Mr. Green, from the 3rd until the 5th day of reading. For 3 days I’ve been so gay, I tell you, I cried a hell of tears out of me. Many moments, I closed the book just to cry. And it’s not an overstatement. Yesterday, I was reading this prefuneral-for-Gus part and right in the middle of Isaac’s eulogy, can’t help myself but closed the book. Since that I’m alone the house, I just prepared a coffee while I’m so damned performing my sobs, then my father came in the middle of my sobbing performance and he was like “What happened?”

Mr.Green, I’m a good person but a shitty reader. Just then I realize, you’re a good writer, but a shitty person. You just made me cry. You know what happened this morning? I felt like a just lost a friend. I hate you for killing Gus, for letting Isaac blind and for giving Hazel a breath-taking cancer. But still, I couldn’t blame you, they are bound to be like that right?

Knowing all along the tragedies of Augustus and his death gave me madness, which I’m very scared since that I will take my Psych Exam tomorrow morning – not knowing what will happen since I’m still under the stage of mourning (Hazel, Gus and Isaac are still haunting me). And even this message itself is a side effect of mourning.

I guess I’ve been writing too much. Haha. Sorry for this message, I could say I’m also a shitty writer (because I’m a good person). But anyways, we all are made of awesomeness after all, so I guess being shitty is just part of our nature.

Thanks so much Mr.Green for writing such awesome books and I’m on my way to Looking for Alaska (maybe after I pass this mourning stage). I’m not expecting for any replies, but yeah, honestly I am. Even if that reply is just like a simple “I don’t like you fanboy! Back Off!”Oh damn, I’ll surely print those words and frame it. No kidding. Ok apologies again, I’m going to end this now.

Have an awesome nerdfighting ahead!



Jan Noel


Yeah, it sounds absurd to act like that towards a book but, I can’t help it. I’m really this shitty type of reader. Haha. This wasn’t the first time I reacted too hard over a fictional story, I’ve been also stupid and foolish over A Walk to Remember (which was the best Nick Sparks creation for me) crying hard and mourning for days. Yep, really, not an overstatement.

So what do you think guys? Have you also gotten into such a bookdom grief? If you had, what’s that book.

P.S. I am, and forever be mourning for you Augustus Waters and Jamie Sullivan.


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