You Versus You

versus

So it’s quite late now. And honestly, I’m having the most painful headache since, I don’t know maybe five or three years ago. Dang it! I’m not really this drug dependent freak or even a not-so drug dependent one, not that I hate medicines, but I don’t really trust them. Not that I haven’t tried any, but if I could just handle it myself, why rely on something scientifically commercial?

What I believe is that our mind functions as everything, as everything it could think of. It holds both the medicine and disease – have both the questions and answers right? I strongly agree with that mind-over-matter cliché. Back in highschool, not being a masochist or any, but everytime I feel pain, I will just keep myself isolated from the world, feel the pain, until I’m thinking that I’m not feeling it, until I strongly let myself believe that I’m really free from pain, and the feeling was like – Hurray I’m the master of myself! Let’s celebrate! Yes! I’ve been successful with that highschool experiment, but sometimes, I also failed. I don’t really know the exact formula, but it’s just convincing yourself to be away or absent from something that bothers you. For giving attention to it, thinking about it, only let you feel so much pain. Get destructed, as what they say, destruction is the best deception. But in general it’s always hard fighting yourself. Self is a great bitch!

I was once told about this case of a lung-diseased patient who suffered a major lung ailment (I forgot that detail, maybe it’s tuberculosis, but certainly not cancer nor asthma) due to (doctors say) cigarettes. So he was instructed to slowly stop the habit. But months came, the disease just gone worse. Why? Because the patient stopped the habit and his lungs were so in love with cigarette that they are like “oh please, bring back that effin’ cigar!” -having that suicidal drama for not tasting the smoke again. This was proven by a doctor who realized that stopping the cigarette worsens the situation.  Since, a.) Lungs are already destroyed, although not totally, but the smoke coming in neutralizes the situation, making it like parents that instruct their children to just behave, so if the parents are gone, you know what children do right? And b.) stopping a habit can lead to a person’s depression, so if a person is depressed, psychologically he becomes unhealthy, and unhealthy mind leads to unhealthy what? BOOM! —Body! It leads to unhealthy body.

According to my own theory, depression needs a lot of energy to work, that’s why when you are depressed you seemed to be unworkable because your workability energy was sucked up by this bitchy depression. Depression is like a greedy tax collector, instructing everyone to pay something because he wants it and if someone disobeys, he gets a punishment. Then here comes various cancers and ailments, letting the body know that this happened because of that fat bellied depression. Getting the picture?

Let’s just say that mind is really the master of everything, of how we let things happen. Depression came from thoughts, stress came from thoughts and also fear came from thoughts. Mind, my friend, again, really is everything. It’s the idea that we are what we are because of what we think we are.

Now that this headache, unmanageable by my self-theory greatness is still killing me, I need to end up this thought maybe like my answer in every accounting exam – not sure if I’ve done it right.

Dang this fat bellied bitch!

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One response to “You Versus You

  1. Feel you pain Man. Depression pig-backs me as well. Everyone thinks because you have depression and emotional problems you can’t view things right, like your feelings are not validated.

    Thanks for sharing your post with Us.

    Randall

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