The Apple

the appleThe Apple

On the first day

He ran toward her mother

To the kitchen where she busied for dinner

Telling her his problems at school

But she didn’t listen

So he cried alone

So he looked for Ben, his father

So he waited

That’s the time his father never came back.

On the third day

He ran toward the cedar lane

To the big apple tree

Watching the fruit if it’s ready

But it’s not

So he went home

So he called Shirley, his friend

So he waited

That’s the time he promised to her.

Continue reading

Advertisements

As the spider knits its web…

spider web

As the spider knits its web…

The spider moved its legs

Came down the green curtain

Paraded, crisped, paused, paraded

Perfect place to web a home

It heard shouts, rumbles

Noise was drawing near

A door opened in a roar

Swallowing the terror of the hidden crime

A girl, cries for help

Yet nothing but walls called hear

Following, men of three

Smiling – no- laughing Continue reading

Speaking of that love…

speaking of love

“One night Pietro Crispe sang. Macondo woke up in a kind of angelic stupor that was caused by a zither that deserved more than this world and a voice that led one to believe that no other person on earth could feel such love. Pietro Crispe then saw the lights go on in every window in town except that of Amaranta. On November second, All Soul’s Day, his brother opened the store and found all the lamps lighted, all the music boxes opened, and all the clocks striking an interminable hour, and in the midst of that concert he found Pietro Crispe at the desk in the rear with his wrists cut by the razor and his hands thrusts into a basin of benzoin.”

An excerpt from One Hundred Years of Solitude by Jose Garcia Marquez

We can’t determine what lies ahead of us. But when we truly found the very person that would mean a world to us, that’s the beginning of our spontaneous daydreamings of how we will live our life, how we design it and how we end it in the favor of love.

Love, really is not a work of fairies and dusts, that will just happen once we wish upon a star. It’s an accident or unseen course that will just appear before we know it. It will just be there sitting comfortable on the sofa of the living room, not daring to knock, not asking for permission to enter. Bearing bags of pleasure, pains and tragedies. This is reality, love is a general thing that even makes my own perception of it unreliable. But that’s how I look at it, and that’s how I believe.

Our ability to care, to wonder what will happen of us and do things in the desires of our heart will wheel us to consequences usually what we haven’t transpired. In the process, it’s painful and gratifying, much as what we needed to grow and mature. But in the end, it’s a two faced embrace of whether a heartache or happiness. And what’s more terrible, it’s a tragedy that whether we like it or not, will always have its casualty.

Of what he fears beyond hate

hate

Of what he fears beyond hate

Maybe,

Just maybe.

That he doesn’t feel any hate.

He’s afraid.

Naming what he felt as love.

He lives in hate.

He had grown in hate.

He hated the mother who left him.

He hated the father who was gone.

He hated the world.

The world who did nothing.

Nothing but hate him.

Hate is what he only knows.

Yet, he felt fear.

He’s afraid of this unnamed emotion.

This absence of hate.

Telling that he never hated the girl before him.

He was afraid.

That it’s a feeling,

A love.

More tragic than what hate could offer.

Congratulation Graduates!

Graduation

In the Philippine Educational System, March or April will be the months were classes come to its end, from its rough year or learning, and today few of my friends are graduating from college. So happy that they survived the rollercoaster-horrortrain-underwaterdive torture of college. They had experienced torture so they deserve this educational orgasm. But honestly, college is not that really hard, it’s how you perceive it – having fun with everything, living the actual life.

So as I salute to the dear graduating zombies, I’ll offer them this message.

Hansel said to Gretel, “Let us drop these breadcrumbs so that together we find our way home because losing our way would be the most cruel of things.” Continue reading

What Happened?

What happened?

So it’s been like two weeks since my last post right? Dang, I just wasted precious blogging days… But well, I would just like to maybe tell you what happened to me lately.

So, in this strangely humored fate of mine, in this unstoppable evolution of the world, a lot of things happened. So I was in the height of this persona-reflection satisfaction weigh down (this happened last November and I’m just brave enough to face it this February) giving me one of the greatest decision-making hell so far. What happened was that I found this job, which I could really raise a where my heart is awareness band which means I have to quit the current job which I also love and I’m comfortable with. And yeah, I quit my job after a heart and brain sleepover debate. So what turned out was that this job I’m trying to apply, took me days, even weeks to really update me that “Hey dude, you’re in! Congrats!” or “Sorry dude, you failed it. Now go home to your mamma!” But until now, no updates. So for the past weeks I’m jobless! Hooray welcome to the world of unemployment. But I’m patient, I could wait, as what they say, great things come to those who wait right? Praise to God for that!

The next thing that happened to me was that my motherboard, or this mother-packer-board of my pc just committed suicide while I’m not around. And that gives you the answer while I’m onlinely (adverb of online) absent. This leads me to read my pending books and even read Looking for Alaska for almost 15 jobless slash pc-less hours. Which I’m really thankful, the silver lining of every cloud. Haha

The heaven is really pouring something to bother me these days. But they failed, because I never let them bother me. For I’m still awesome! Who cares if my pc broke? Who cares if I’m jobless? I know, it’s clear I shouldn’t let these last for long, but damn, for this moment, I don’t really care at all.

I have an awesome life so far, so let me savor it for a moment.

So that’s it! This is my update.

Have a happy blogging!

With much awesomeness,

-Janoel

You Versus You

versus

So it’s quite late now. And honestly, I’m having the most painful headache since, I don’t know maybe five or three years ago. Dang it! I’m not really this drug dependent freak or even a not-so drug dependent one, not that I hate medicines, but I don’t really trust them. Not that I haven’t tried any, but if I could just handle it myself, why rely on something scientifically commercial?

What I believe is that our mind functions as everything, as everything it could think of. It holds both the medicine and disease – have both the questions and answers right? I strongly agree with that mind-over-matter cliché. Back in highschool, not being a masochist or any, but everytime I feel pain, I will just keep myself isolated from the world, feel the pain, until I’m thinking that I’m not feeling it, until I strongly let myself believe that I’m really free from pain, and the feeling was like – Hurray I’m the master of myself! Let’s celebrate! Yes! I’ve been successful with that highschool experiment, but sometimes, I also failed. I don’t really know the exact formula, but it’s just convincing yourself to be away or absent from something that bothers you. For giving attention to it, thinking about it, only let you feel so much pain. Get destructed, as what they say, destruction is the best deception. But in general it’s always hard fighting yourself. Self is a great bitch! Continue reading

Letter to Mr. Green

tfios2

So last week, just as to the recommendation of my friends and also you all bloggers, I started to read a John Green book, which honestly, I promised myself to finish the pending books before I dig myself into such commitment. But I did it anyway.

I read this The Fault in Our Stars and damn, I just had the roller coaster ride of my life. The morning after, not really morning because it’s already afternoon, I decided to send Mr. Green a sort of message for what he did to me.

I don’t know if it’s proper to post it here, but since that my reaction to the book, or sort of a review was included it here, I’m still gonna post it anyway. Continue reading