Just back!

I don’t where to start.

But I owe a lot, to a lot of souls. To you, to this blog, and to myself. In which I would like to apologise, to being not there, to being non-existent, to being just a history (that if I did have a history). But yeah, I’m really really sorry.

Now let’s go back to straight talk. I’m happy to, uhmm, inform you that, well, I’m back!  (Hooray!) I’ve been long and gone. It’s been a year isn’t it? I’ve been silent, probably you could say that I’m in a state-of-coma.

I lot of distractions came, occupied me, kept me busy, but I managed to now creep away from the silence.

So here I am now. I’m back and alive! Woo-hoo!

See you again blogsters!

Missing you all,

 

Janoel

 

P.S. Enjoy this song.

Same Love

I guess, maybe the greatest love story in the world is not by a prince and princess, but by two both men sharing the love they deserve.

I found this video by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis titled Same Love. It’s just so inspiring how certain people who suffered from discrimination and criticism from society fight for something they deserve. For in the end, what matters is not what the society speaks for you, but how you decide yourself for the happiness you deserve.

Love is a complex thing, it’s not stated that love is something for a man to a woman or a woman to a man only, it’s something we share and acquire, regardless of sex, religion, principle and race.

I salute the people behind this music, for it’s not just a song to share or a story to inspire, it’s the reality that the world should accept.

Watch. Listen. Be inspired. Continue reading

Life Behind 2: Behind Doors

continued from Life Behind 1: Behind Music

If chances are just seeing falling stars at night, I think this was the moment where she had a tight sleep, unable to see some in the sky. For he was there, the man who intrigues her, her neighbor, the man he just known by the name Connor- right there in front of their house knocking, pushing the doorbell, patiently waiting.

Too bad for her, she’s always been sleeping like dead during weekends, (really did have a tight sleep) she never heard the noise of his existence right before her door. So by the tease of the moment again, she never had the great chance of meeting him, face to face.

Hours later, she’s in the kitchen with her cereals and the journal she left from the library.

“Who gave this?” She asked while examining at her journal.

“Oh. He said he’s been with you in the library yesterday and you left that journal.” Her mother smiled. “Good thing you had your address written inside, he was so surprised knowing about it.”

“What do you mean?” She ate the last spoon of her cereal looking perplexed by her mother’s words.

“He said he just stayed right there, just beside our house and he was so surprised knowing that we are neighbors.” She answered back. “I never really thought that Martha has a pretty looking nephew.”

“What? He’s the guy at the Thiel’s?”

“Yeah? What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing!” She jumped from where she sat and ran toward her room.

*****

Hi Amie! I just got your name from this journal. I guess you’re going to be as surprised as me too. This is just crazy knowing all of this and I can’t even believe myself how our paths just crossed again.

I believe you had my CD. Yeah, just maybe you will ask, I was the blind boy in the train. Surprise isn’t it? I was also surprised as hell yesterday as you told the story. It gave me the chills and all throughout your story, I was like a kid staring at you imagining what you look like back. I hope you didn’t notice it.

I guess fate has been too good to us then? Another thing, I just learned that we’re neighbors, which really made all this stuffs crazier.

As soon as you read this please don’t hesitate to knock at my door. You just knew me by the name Four and I haven’t even known yours. So maybe we could give ourselves another chance to meet. Where we could formally introduce ourselves. I hope it sounds cool to you.

Hoping to meet you again.

It’s me,

Four/ Connor.

 

P.S. Sorry for making some writings here in your journal.

 

She closed the journal and stared blankly at it keeping herself still for almost 10 seconds. After that silent moment, she ran outside her room and screamed out loud.

 

 

 

Life Behind 1: Behind Music

behind music

She had been doing it for almost a month. She can’t tell why, but she seemed so intrigued with the new guy next to their house. He just moved in about six weeks ago at the Thiel’s. Staying with his aunt Martha for college. Although he had spent some vacations in the neighborhood before, he had stayed aloof and silent so he hadn’t really created any friends and that nobody really knew him at all. Fact is that he had just been so invisible to everybody, every in and out of him in the house is unnoticed and that the only thing people knew about him is his name – Connor Stevenson.  The very reason why she didn’t bother to give a care of his existence.

But things had changed lately. He had been so bold for her, so intriguing which caused for her interest to just fire undying desire. And just two weeks after his arrival, she had started her secret stares.

All those days where she could take the chance, she settled herself hidden behind the curtain of the window of her room, overlooking the Thiel’s house. Yet, since then she had never ever caught a glimpse of his face. Always the back of his head or his body. Blame it to whammy or misfortune or fate, but she always end up viewing him with boxes, books, newspapers or anything that could possibly cover his face from her direction. Or in the time where she could have the chance for a look, that’s when the moment a phone rang, her mother called, a friend shifted in front of him, a dog just barked or his auntie called turning his head in directions. Yet she continued her adoration for him.

*****

So there she was that Friday afternoon in the public library, struggling for multiple assignments and researches. It’s just a typical day for doing studies, a typical day where everything is silent, every head is down, every hand is writing – until a phone rang.

♫ When the night has come and the day is done. I’m always thinking of you. ♪ What a ring tone!

That time every head was into her. She seemed so dumb letting such a humiliating thing happened. She’s been like singing oh-no oh-no oh-no oh-no oh-no oh-no inside her head. Yet she’s still lucky enough, it isn’t Thursday, not the library-is-too-full day. There have been like 16 or 20 students scattered in different places.

“Cool ringtone!” Someone whispered.

She unfolded the book that’s been covering her face to take a glance of the voice’s owner. It was a guy sat opposite her. If books would speak for his self, probably he’s a medical student.

He winked at her, she looked at him sheepishly. Yeah a very cool shame tone. She chuckled in her thought and just smiled at him wryly.

“You’re great!” He smiled back.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean. The song is great.” He stood up and motioned to sat beside her. “It’s Forever and a Day by MLTR right? It had been my favorite since…since the day. I just can’t believe I could meet another girl listening to that song.”

“Yeah. It’s a great song. I can’t even believe it myself that I had loved it that much.” She beamed. She can’t tell why, but she seemed so buoyant with the guy in front of her. It would be creepy to talk like this to strangers and it seemed so absurd to just have an abrupt conversation. But it is music, she seemed to be not herself when it comes to music. This man also loves her song and that’s just enough against the odds. Then, she just can’t help to tell the story behind the song.

“Actually, everything is just an accident. How I met this song is magic.” She moved her head away from him, facing the blank page of her notebook. As if that there were scenes showing her what to tell. She continued.

“It was like eleven years ago.  I met this guy once in a train, he was heading to Le Bruke with his grandmother.” She paused, trying to dig the significant images of her memories, yet she failed. “I can’t really remember how he looked that time, but he had a different smile. A smile that could lead you to smiling, a feature I think he got from her grandma.

“He was the one who introduced me to this song. I remembered, he had the purest expression that time. It was silent, not much people inside and the only noise was the chug-chug of the train. Then he talked to his grandma and his grandma talked to me until we were already talking to each other. I learned that he is blind, such a cruel fate for a soul like him. He got it when he was 12, two years ago before we have met, it was retina weakness as they say. But that didn’t stop him to be cheerful.

“Between our great laughter, he then introduced to me this song. He was holding a music player, he turned it on and I listened to it. He said he really liked it. The harmony, the melody, the voice of the singer, the lyrics – everything seems to be magical to him. It changed his world that every time he listens to the song, he can’t see darkness anymore. What he sees are colorful shades of the world. The beautiful images he had gathered before his blindness.”

She chuckled in sweet tone. Then she continued. “His earphone seemed to be grating that time, so I gave mine to him. As a gift and as a sign of friendship, in return he gave me his CD.” She ended in wink of her left eye.

“So, are you still seeing him?” He asked winking back.

She smiled and fixed the books in front of her. “The thing is, I just known him by the name Four. And we never met each other again since that day. It is just the CD, the song and memory I got from him. That’s the reason why I’m listening to this song always. So that he will never be forgotten, until the time we meet again.”

“So you’re still hoping?”

“Yes. Until we meet again.” She stood up, grabbed her books and left the man without saying goodbye.

…to be continued.